Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

Highway Patrol Complaint to USMC

Posted: January 7, 2012 in Jokes

I normally wouldn’t use my blog to share a joke I received via e-mail, but this one was so funny I had to share it. Those who may have or currently serve in the military will more than likely enjoy this one.

Two Texas Highway Patrol officers were conducting speeding enforcement on Highway 77, just south of Kingsville, Texas.

One of the officers was using a handheld radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the town of Kingsville. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing.

The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it suddenly turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the Mesquite tree tops on Highway 77 revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near it’s naval air home base location in Kingsville.

Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in Corpus Christi the patrol captain fired off a complaint to the U.S. Naval Base commander in Kingsville for shutting down his equipment.

The reply came back in true USMC style:

“Thank you for your letter….

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment’s location.

Fortunately, the Marine pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position on the side of Hwy 77, south of Kingsville.

The pilot suggests you cover your mouths when swearing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech.

Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.

Semper Fi.”

Story Source: E-mail circulation (original author unknown); images added for this blog post
Texas Highway Patrol image source: Wikimedia Commons (Public Domain)
FA/18 Hornet image source: Wikimedia Commons (Public Domain)