Twisted Like a Pretzel

Posted: July 29, 2011 in Health, Lifestyle

Back Pain and Wobbly Legs

When I was 17 years old I was involved in a serious car accident that left me with a bad back ever since, so pain in my back and neck is pretty much an everyday issue with me. I’ve learned to live with a sore back and neck throughout my life, but last weekend I noticed the pain was worse than usual. So, while I was at the local supermarket on Sunday, I grabbed a packet of Icy/Hot medicated patches for my back pain and a bottle of Aleve, hoping that would do the trick. The medicated patch soothed the pain somewhat, but the piercing pain in my lower back and throbbing pain in my left side continued to bother me. It felt like someone was poking me with a knife and pulling and twisting my back in all directions.

I had a hard time sleeping on Sunday night, but I managed to finally get some shuteye around three o’clock in the morning. On Monday morning, the pain was pretty bad, but after taking a warm shower, the pain was more bearable. I was pretty miserable at work and started to get some piercing pain in my lower back and a slight tingling in my legs, which triggered the idea of seeing a doctor. However, I thought maybe I just needed another day of taking some Aleve and the pain would eventually go away.

Monday night was just as bad as the night before and then Tuesday morning I could barely get out of bed; the pain was unbearable. My back felt like it was twisted around like a pretzel and the pain in my side was getting worse. However, after taking a warm shower, the muscles in my back loosened up a bit and the pain went away enough to where I thought I could function at work. When I was sitting in my comfy leather chair at my desk the pain wasn’t that bad and sometimes my back didn’t hurt at all. However, when I got up to walk to the networked printer in the Classifieds Department, the pain immediately resurfaced. It got so bad at one point that I felt like someone jabbed a knife into my lower back and twisted it. I then got a tingling sensation in both of my legs. My legs started getting numb and felt wobbly. I almost collapsed to the floor! At that point, I knew it was definitely time to make a visit to the doctor.

The Diagnosis

I went home and worked via remote desktop for a while and then called my doctor, whom I had not seen in over 15 years. While I had been fortunate enough to stay healthy for that long, despite back pains stemmed from a car accident so long ago, the fact that I hadn’t seen my doctor in so long resulted in getting classified as a new patient. My doctor was not seeing new patients, so that left me hunting for a different doctor to see me. I decided to visit a new walk-in clinic that was located about a mile away from my house. I called the walk-in clinic and was told that there wasn’t a long wait, so I immediately wobbled to my car and drove to the clinic.

I filled out some forms and waited about 20 minutes in the lobby before a nurse called my name. She weighed me, took my pulse, asked a bunch of preliminary questions and then took me to Room 3, where I waited another half hour before the doc finally walked inside to see me. I told the doc about my pain and indicated that my pain was mainly focused around the lower to middle of my back and along my left side and the rear left side of my back. After poking my back in several areas and asking if it hurt, the doc asked me if I had ever had kidney stones before. Kidney stones? I’ve heard horror stories about people with kidney stones and now I was concerned. The doc told me that I was having pain around the kidney area and told me that he needed a urine sample to find out for sure. Great. I came to the clinic so I could get the doctor to prescribe me some pain medication, but nooooooo, this doctor starts talking about kidney stones. Ugh! I reluctantly grabbed the little plastic cup, headed over to the bathroom, and provided the doc a sample for the urinalysis.

As I waited for the results of the urinalysis, I thought about the idea of having to pass kidney stones, which hurt just thinking about it. Back pains would be the least of my concerns if I had kidney stones. I waited and waited… and waited for the doctor to come back with my results. Meanwhile I could hear the staff outside my room laughing and telling jokes. Here I was pondering the possibility that there was a rock quarry building up inside my kidney and the staff was telling jokes outside my room. I envisioned the doctor opening the door with a grave look on his face to inform me that I did indeed have kidney stones and that it was going to be an even more painful experience getting rid of them. Just as the nightmare in my head began to form the details of passing those horrible stones, a nurse walked inside with a sheet of paper in his hand and told me that I was good to go. I took the sheet of paper and noticed that it was a prescription for pain medication. I asked the nurse about the urinalysis and he told me that I tested fine. No kidney stones. Thank God!

Drug Cocktail Heaven

The doc prescribed three different medications to take care of my back problem, all of which caused drowsiness. I worked from home on Wednesday and most of the workday on Thursday, and it’s a good thing, too. Taking all three of those medications made me feel REEEEAAAALLY good that day. My back was still pretty twisted, but the drugs masked the pain really well. So, at least I was comfortable enough to do my job. Talking to customers on the phone was interesting to say the least. Considering the fact that I was doped up on pain medication, I sounded like I was inebriated on alcohol. I even dozed off at the keyboard several times throughout the day, but the job got done and I met my page deadline. I was definitely in no condition to be operating a vehicle, so it’s a good thing I had remote access to my computer at work.

Today, I’m feeling quite a bit better, but the pain still comes back when the pain medication wears off. It’s nowhere near as painful as it was earlier this week, though. Hopefully in a few days my back will feel well enough that I don’t need the pain medication at all. I’m just glad I don’t have kidney stones!

Four! Virtual Golf May Be Hazardous To Your Health!

You may be wondering at this point how I actually hurt my back. Well, I hadn’t done any heavy lifting anytime recently, so after a process of elimination, it turns out that I must have hurt it during an evening of Tiger Woods Golf on my Playstation. I recently purchased a Playstation Move (basically works like the Nintendo Wii) and thought playing golf with the motion-detection controller would be fun. It is actually very fun to play with, but I must have played one too many times that my back could handle. Swinging that imaginary club around finally twisted my back enough to land me in the doctor’s office. I just didn’t feel it right away. I realize now and accept the fact that I’m nowhere near as flexible as I used to be. I think I’ll stick to using a regular controller for my golfing adventures from now on. I never would have thought that virtual golf would be hazardous to my health.

It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted anything on my site, but for good reason. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been working hard to finish editing and formatting “Pursuit of a Dream” and will have it available for you to read on the Kindle soon. A friend of mine I met on Twitter was nice enough to offer to beta read my book, so I’m going to hold off from going live with the Kindle version of the book until I get some feedback. In the meantime, I’m beta reading Sara’s latest novel. The beta reading process is completely new to me, so naturally I was a bit nervous at first. I’ve never swapped stories with another writer before, but I have to say, it has been a fun process.

In a previous post I mentioned that I was having a hard time juggling work and writing, but I managed to put my foot down and made a commitment to work on my book every day after work for a least an hour. I just needed a little bit of discipline and encouragement from other writers. After I got the editing out of the way, I used Amazon’s Kindle publishing guide to walk me through the process of getting my document ready for publication on the Kindle. Since this book was originally written about seven years ago for POD (Print on Demand), I was pretty certain formatting was going to be an issue when it came to converting the document into an e-book. I followed the instructions regarding some formatting issues (most notably correcting indents, which was a pain in the blessed assurance), and then saved my book in Web-Filtered format as the instructions noted. I then downloaded MobiPocket Creator and followed the easy steps to convert the document into the .mobi format, which is the format used by the Kindle reader.

Now that I had the book in the correct format, it was time to put the file through a series of tests. I downloaded another program called Kindle Previewer, ran the program, found my Kindle file, and double-clicked. Voila! Everything looked great for the Kindle version, but then I clicked on the iPhone and iPad app preview. My smile disappeared. Crap! Well, the paragraph indents look fine, but space breaks disappeared altogether, making for a weird flow. I’ve read other Kindle books that looked great on the Kindle, but had the same issues with the mobile formats. I Googled, searched help files, prayed to the Kindle gods for guidance, and vented my frustration out loud, which resulted in my dog cocking her head sideways and then just wanted to play. So, what did I do? I played with the dog, of course.

After playing fetch with my dog, I accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to figure out why the mobile format wasn’t flowing well. I ran yet another test to put my mind at ease and confirm that the book would view correctly on actual Kindle devices. So, I found my USB cord and tethered my Kindle to my computer. I then transferred my test file onto my Kindle device, crossed my fingers, prayed to the Kindle gods again, disconnected the Kindle from my computer and then searched for “Victory Lane: The Chronicles – Pursuit of a Dream” on my Kindle. Well, that part worked, but how will the pages look on the Kindle? I selected the file and waited briefly for the the title screen to appear. The title screen looked good. It wasn’t completely centered on the page, but it looked good. I then scrolled through several pages of the book and was relieved to find that everything flowed as perfectly as I could have hoped.

So, in closing, the whole process of converting my book to publish on the Kindle hasn’t gone as smoothly as I had hoped, but for a first-time Kindle publisher, I think I’m satisfied with the current progress. If anyone has any feedback on how to correct the mobile formatting issues, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to announcing that "Pursuit of a Dream" is ready to download very soon! Take care and have a great week!

Finding the Time to Write

Posted: June 30, 2011 in Writing

How do writers with full-time jobs find the time and energy to write?

When I recently decided to take another crack at writing, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was getting myself into. When I was unemployed, after job hunting, I had so much extra time on my hands, so finding time to write was obviously a no brainer. However, now that I’m fully employed and have a career that I’m building on (I manage an obituaries column, so maybe my career has actually died!), finding time to write has been a bit challenging, mostly because I find myself figuratively drained of life by the end of the day and I just want to vegetate when I get home… not spend more time in front of a computer screen. Right now, I’m struggling to just write this article at work before I head home for the day. But, it’s the end of the month and I want to have my goal of four posts per month complete, which was my sole motivation to write something for my website today. Exciting, huh?

Actually the real motivation to ponder my struggles with finding time to write spawned from an article that a Twitter friend of mine wrote. Steven Montano, author of “Blood Skies” wrote an entertaining article on the subject which I thought was worth sharing. It’s a two part post and can be viewed here: The Writing Discipline: Part One and The Writing Discipline: Part Two. After reading Steven’s posts, I thought, “Heck! If Steven can manage to write his books with his hectic schedule (which, by the way, although chaotic, it’s very organized and routine) then I can get my tail in gear and do the same thing! I think my problem is just that… I’m not very organized, I have no routine, and I’m easily distracted. It’s worth a shot, though!

Simplification and structure may be key to my literary struggles.

I think part of my problem is that I try to do too much at once sometimes. I have my responsibilities at work, of course, so I can’t get around that hurdle. Well, I guess I could, but then I wouldn’t be writing this article; I’d be holding a sign at the intersection by the mall instead: WILL WRITE FOR FOOD. I have very convenient hours for a writer, too. I work from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m., and… oh, look at the time! It’s seven o’clock and time to leave the office and finish this article at home…

Four hours (dinner, one episode of Frasier, a few innings of the Houston Astros baseball game, a car wash, half an episode of Sons of Tuscon, and one Smirnoff) later…

Okay, I think we’ve nailed down the fact that writing discipline has become a bit of an issue with me lately, but starting July 1, I have decided to turn over a new leaf and try to get more organized and put together some sort of realistic routine that I can keep. My ultimate goal is to finish editing “Pursuit of a Dream” so I can get it up on the Kindle. I’ve got to keep my routine simple and not try to cram too much into the day, and most importantly, resist the temptation to watch television or (gasp!) play a few rounds of golf on my PS3 until I’ve gotten my daily dose of writing in. This also means I have to resist spending too much time on Twitter, which on the most part I have been successful. While networking is important, writing needs to come first.

Wish me luck!

So, as I strive to become a more disciplined writer and more organized person in general, I ask you, my dear readers, to wish me luck in this adventure we call writing. Hopefully by this time next week, I’ll be able to report some major editing and writing progress. Until then, it’s time to work on that routine. I’ll call it my Mid-Year Resolution Project. Okay, that’s a bit corny. We’ll go with just getting my ass in gear and writing already!

Beta Readers: Yay or Nay

Posted: June 15, 2011 in Writing

What is a beta reader and do I need one?

I’ve been hearing a lot about beta readers lately, which got me wondering if I needed one (or more). First off, what is a beta reader? From what I gather, it’s basically someone who takes your book for a test drive and gives you feedback before you officially launch your book for publication. It sounds like a good idea, but I’m still up in the air with whether or not recruiting beta readers is for me. How should I select my beta readers? How many beta readers should I have? My book has technically already been published and I’m polishing it so I can have it republished and available for sale on the Kindle. Should I utilize beta readers in this case? If so, at what point?

I’m about 60 percent complete with editing and polishing “Pursuit of a Dream” and thought about seeking out a few beta readers among my network of writer friends. I have no idea where to begin and I’m not sure if now is a good time to have beta readers test drive the first half of my book and then the second half later or what. So, with all of those questions going through my mind, I decided to post this on my site and see what my fellow writers suggest.

What do you suggest?

I calling out to my fellow writer peeps out there and asking for your help in guiding me in the right direction. If you have in the past or are currently using beta readers as part of your publishing process, please let me know how you felt the process went. How did using a beta reader help you? How did you go about finding a beta reader(s)? And last, but not least, did you send them the entire manuscript upfront or did you feed it to them in pieces?

While I do not have a goal of writing for a living, I do want to produce quality work when I’m writing. I know I still have a lot to learn, and I really don’t have an unbiased group that can trust to honestly judge my work. My closest friends and family will, of course, tell me that my book was great; they loved it. One honestly told me that while he thought the writing was good, he just couldn’t get into the story. I enjoyed writing “Pursuit of a Dream” and I hope others will enjoy reading it, too. But before I continue writing “Book 2”, I want to make sure I’m going in the right direction. So, the beta reading process may or may not be the answer.

Would you be interested in beta reading “Pursuit of a Dream”?

That’s where my network of reading/writing friends comes in. Assuming I decide to have some beta readers take “Pursuit of a Dream” out for a test drive, would you be interested? If so, let me know. I’m really interested in getting some honest feedback on my book to help me improve my writing and to gauge what’s working and what needs a tune up. And don’t worry, I have pretty thick “shark” skin. I believe any constructive criticism (good or bad) is healthy for a writer.

I appreciate any guidance, suggestions, advice and general comments regarding the beta reading process. Thanks for visiting my site and I look forward to hearing from you!

When Satan Lived in My Garage

Posted: June 11, 2011 in Dogs, Pets

Can an 11-year-old kid handle Satan?

In my previous post I wrote about my failed attempts of owning cats when I was a kid. Poor kitties in my care kept using up their nine lives in one quick sweep. Come to think of it, I owned cats during the time that my brother owned a 7 1/2 foot boa constrictor. No wonder some of the cats ran away! Our household apparently wasn’t cat friendly, so my parents decided that maybe we’d try dog ownership for a change. So, one day Mom brings home my first dog . . . a full grown Doberman Pinscher! One of her coworkers was giving away the dog, and naturally, Mom thought it would be nice to bring me home another pet (Before you ask, this wasn’t the same coworker that gave me Bugsy the Cat). Now visualize this for a moment: I was an 11-year-old kid who had never owned a dog before and instead of bringing home a cute little puppy, Mom brings home a “junkyard” dog that probably weighed more than I did and could probably eat me! At first, I was hesitant about petting the intimidating looking canine, but the dog was actually very friendly. I asked Mom what the dog’s name was. She told me that his name was Satan! I didn’t know how to react to that. Was the name cool? Or would owning a dog named Satan just give me nightmares? My older brother thought the name was awesome, of course.

Satan was a big dog, and we didn’t have a fenced yard. I didn’t want to keep him chained in the back yard, so my parents allowed me to keep him in the house while we were home. However, he would have to stay in the garage while I was at school and my parents were at work. So, that’s what we did. It took Satan a while to get adjusted to his new home and family, but before long, Satan and I were best buds. I enjoyed rough housing with Satan every day (something I couldn’t do with a cat without getting shredded like cheese). Every day after school, I’d open up the garage door to find Satan wagging his stubby tail and ready to play. After Satan took care of his natural duties in the yard (which I hated to clean up) after being cooped up in a garage all day, he would take me for a walk around the block. These walks got interesting at times, especially when Satan sniffed out a cat. Don’t worry, though, no cats were ever harmed… only I was after scrapping up my knees when Satan dragged me around the neighborhood.

Don’t open the door! Satan is in there!

Owning a Doberman named Satan turned out to be pretty cool. So, I naturally wanted to show off my new pet. I decided to start off with one of my friends who lived in the neighborhood… the rich kid that lived down the street. Michael was one of those somewhat snobby kids who liked to advertise “his” wealth, dressed all preppy, had all the coolest things, and thought he knew everything about anything. His parents both had a Mercedes with personalized license plates (LASTNAME “1” and LASTNAME “2”) and, of course, they had those cool new cell phones (remember “The Brick”?). Of course, for an 11-year-old kid, those were great reasons to be friends with Michael. Anyway, he and I both rode the school bus together, so after we got off the bus one day, I invited him over to play video games with my Sega Master System, which my Dad had recently bought me and was my prized possession. Michael, of course, owned the more popular Nintendo Entertainment System, which I personally thought was inferior to the Sega, except for Mario Bros., of course. This was a normal Friday afternoon of playing video games with friends, and we’d always go inside the house through the garage. Well, Michael didn’t know that I had a dog, so when he started reaching for the garage door handle, I warned, “No! Stop! Satan’s in there!” I wasn’t sure how Satan would react to seeing someone else opening the door instead of me.

Michael laughed and said something along the lines of, “Whatever! Satan’s not in your garage!” Michael then proceeded to pull the garage door up; he stopped immediately after hearing a growl from the other side. With fear in his eyes, Michael stopped laughing, pushed the garage door down, and asked me what the heck was in the garage.

Now I was laughing! Satan started barking, which didn’t help the situation. I ordered Satan to behave and told Michael that Satan was my new Doberman Pinscher. That didn’t appear to ease Michael’s fear. I suggested that I go inside the garage first, which Michael obviously agreed to. While Satan didn’t eat the rich snob from down the street, he didn’t particularly warm up to him either. If I remember correctly, Michael was a “cat person”.

Satan and I go our separate ways.

Owning Satan ended up being more of a chore that an 11-year-old kid could handle. Satan also started to show how he disapproved of living in the garage, too. Let’s just say he didn’t wait for me to get home from school to let him outside to take care of his business. While the garage accommodations worked fine for a while, poor Satan needed a yard with a fence to run, play, and poop. My parents were renting the house we lived in, and the landlord wouldn’t build a fence. Satan would have to stay in the garage during the day, and after a while, he started to dart out of the garage when I opened the door. After a couple of times chasing Satan around the neighborhood until he finally decided to come home by himself, I decided that I wasn’t cut out for dog ownership either, at least not yet. As much as I loved Satan, I had to let him go. It was just the right thing to do. So, Mom returned Satan back to his previous owner.

I had high hopes that owning a dog would end my childhood streak of bad pet ownership. But, alas, here I was again without a pet… well, sort of. My brother let me help him take care of his pet boa constrictor, Rosie. It just wasn’t the same, though. Maybe I’d take a crack at fish ownership! Oh, wait, I tried that. They all died. 😦

Sharky Teeth You might also enjoy:

SCRATCH LINE

Profile Photo (Cropped)Robert “Sharky” Pruneda is a native Texan, video game “enthusiast” [addict], and fan of all things horror. He left a career in the newspaper industry in 2011 to pursue the life of a nocturnal author, brainstorming new and creative ways to creep out his readers. He doesn’t only write horror though. He also pens the occasional family-oriented tale just to keep from going completely nuts with all those creatures of the night whispering in his ears. When he’s not pulling ideas out of his twisted brain, you’ll likely find him on social media or fighting alongside his fellow gaming buddies where they all get shot up into Swiss cheese (or turned into little bite-sized chunks because of “Sharky’s” obsession with explosives). Medic!

Pursue your dreams . . . and never look back.

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9 Lives? Not in My Household

Posted: June 5, 2011 in Cats, Pets

My Failed Attempt At Feline Ownership

Warning… If you love cats, this may be a little depressing, but stick around for the end. It’ll be worth it.

Growing up in Austin, I had always been a cat person. I loved every cat that I owned as a kid, but I could never seem to keep one for very long. It was one streak of bad luck after another. I had a beautiful Manx when I was about 5 or 6 years old that either ran away or was stolen when I went on a trip to visit family in Monterrey, Mexico. When I came back, the cat was gone. I was devastated! I loved that cat and now she was gone. The sad thing is that she was my favorite cat, but I can’t for the life of me remember her name. I think it was Bright Eyes… or maybe that’s what her mother’s name was.

Anyway, Bright Eyes (that’s what we’re going with) was eventually replaced and then that cat was replaced… and then that cat was replaced, because it either ran away or ventured off to the road and, well… we won’t go there. There was a pattern that became all too familiar with my failed career as a young cat owner. I even had a three-legged cat at one time that my neighbor adopted (that’s a story in itself). I’m sure if cats had a way of communicating (and we know they do… You’ve seen Cats & Dogs, right?) I’m sure they sent out warning signals to every potential prospect that might end up in the Pruneda home. The average life expectancy of a cat in my care was probably one year. One beat the odds and then disappeared, but she wasn’t the stealing type and I don’t think she got hit by a car. She was a very tough and mean Calico that could probably tear any tire to shreds that would come in contact with her. Yeah, she was that aggressive. I think she just got bored terrorizing my neighborhood and moved on… or maybe even died of old age. Imagine that.

I had one other cat after that. Poor thing lasted three months. I felt so bad because a nice old lady that my mother worked with at the bank had given him to me after hearing about my last cat disappearing. She obviously did not get the memo about the life expectancy of cats in my care. I thought this one was going to be a keeper, though. He was so smart and lovable. I even remember his name… Bugsy. He always liked to explore outside and come home for dinner, but when my family was about to leave town for Christmas, I couldn’t find my cat to let him inside. We had to leave so I just left Bugsy some food and water on the front porch. It got below freezing in Austin while we were gone and I found poor Bugsy on the driveway when we got home. He was my last cat.

So, as much as I loved cats, I clearly was not meant to be a cat owner. Ironically, later in life I discovered that I’m allergic to cats. I still love cats to this day, but I can’t handle them too much or else my eyes get all watery and itchy and sometimes results in sneezing. I think this is the cat community’s first line of defense. Word must have gotten around… even in a different city. My neighbor’s cats seem to like me though… or maybe they’re just extremely brave. I’m even allowed to take care of them from time to time. Don’t worry, they’re both alive and well… and I’ve been cat sitting for these feline friends of mine on and off for over five years now!

To end this entry, I want to encourage everyone who loves animals as much as I do to consider donating to the ASPCA or your local animal shelter. These organizations need our support to continue providing care for the helpless cats and dogs out there in our communities. Many of these animals have been rescued from abusive homes and just want a second chance at a good life in a loving home. I am a proud Guardian member of the ASPCA and give regularly to this organization because of what they stand for and all they have done and continue to do for all types of animals: not just cats and dogs.

For more information about the ASPCA, please visit www.aspca.org.

Stay tuned for Part Two of “Cats vs. Dogs” as I write about why I love being a dog owner. And in honor of our feline friends, check out this cute ASPCA video below:

Oh, by the way… I’m so proud of the fact that I actually figured out how to embed video! 🙂

Sharky Teeth

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Devil’s Nightmare by Robert Pruneda available in print and eBook formats. Click the image below for more details.
Devil's Nightmare

Mobster World

The other day I was going through my usual routine of checking e-mail, direct messages, replies, mentions, etc., when I saw this interesting message from one of my friends on Twitter:

Hey, I just added you to my Mafia family. You should accept my invitation! 🙂 Click here: XXXXXXX (edited, so no one would make the same mistake I did).

organized-crime-150556_1280I grew up playing video games, from the Atari 2600 & Intellivision, Nintendo Entertainment System & Sega Master System… and currently Xbox 360 & PS3. With years of gaming on my life’s résumé, I was naturally interested in this new game called Mobster World. I’ve played iMobsters on the iPhone and enjoyed it, so I thought, “What the heck! I’ll try it out.” I really don’t have much time for games lately, but a few minutes playing a simple point-and-click game should be harmless enough. HA! Little did I know that the developers of Mobster World had a very annoying way of trying to attract new players.

I clicked on the link and… I know, I know! I’m an idiot for doing so, but bear with me for a moment. Anyway, I clicked on the link and the first thing that popped on the screen was a Twitter Application Authorization page, which I’ve seen before. I hesitated, but clicked on the “Approve” button. My computer didn’t blow up, so I was now ready to start playing this Mobster World game, but first I had to come up with a name for my mobster. I chose Don Sharky, of course! After deciding on my character’s name and basic characteristics, I dove into the game. I participated in a few criminal acts for the mob boss, leveled up a couple of times, and then I decided to check out the game settings. Oh, look! There’s a Twitter settings section to play around with. Do I want the game to send tweets about my game progress or send invites? Um… no, I don’t. So, I disabled the Twitter options. Phew! It’s a good thing I checked the settings!

Spam Bot Assimilation

It was too late! This game automatically starts its attack as soon as you click “Approve”. One of my fellow writing “tweeps” and #Pubwrite patrons, Lorna, sent me a message warning me about the viral consequences of clicking on the game invite link. She told me that the game sends messages to all of your Twitter followers. OH! NO! Sure enough, my Direct Message list was full of invites that “I” had sent to a ton of my followers. I had inadvertently been turned into a spam bot!!! I had taken the bait that dangled in front of me and I bit hard. Now, I had to try and pull the hook out and undue the mess that had already started to unfold. My first task (after canceling my Mobster World account, of course) was to send out a few messages informing all of my followers to ignore the game invite that they may receive from “me”. Mobster World was trying to assimilate me into a pesky Twitter droid, but I wasn’t going to let that happen! I quickly grabbed my can of “Bot-Be-Gone” and frantically sent direct messages to every Twitter follower that I could visibly see that Mobster World had sent invites to “on my behalf”.

After nearly half an hour of sending message after message to my innocent followers, apologizing, and feeling embarrassed for falling into such a trap in the first place, I claimed victory against Mobster World and it’s evil plan to assimilate me into a Twitter Spam Bot. Sadly, Don Sharky didn’t fair so well… he’s swimming with the fishes. But, so be it! I’m happy to be my good ‘ol human self again and I learned a valuable lesson. Avoid all game invites on Twitter like a bad habit!

If you had a similar experience or know of any other dangers that lurk in some unknown dark alleys of Twitterville, please comment on this post. I look forward to reading your responses. Thanks for visiting and be sure to grab a complimentary can of “Bot-Be-Gone” on your way out. 🙂

Oh, by the way, after the whole Mobster World fiasco, the next time I signed into Twitter, I had to fill out that little CAPTCHA box to prove that I was a real person. Go figure!

Sharky Teeth

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Devil’s Nightmare by Robert Pruneda available in print and eBook formats. Click the image below for more details.
Devil's Nightmare

What The Heck Is Social Networking?

YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter. What do all these things have in common? Well, I think we can all agree they are among the most popular social networking sites available. From sharing videos of some of the most ridiculous things you can imagine, to posting photos and stories about yourself, to casual chatting, to making business connections, the whole social networking thing used to be such a blur to me, with the exception of YouTube.

I have to admit that I’m still a bit of a newb when it comes to social networking. The first time I overheard someone talk about MySpace, I had no idea what they were talking about. When I did find out, I had no interest in it. I really wasn’t into the whole “share my life with world” thing, but ever since my coworkers kept showing me what was on their “wall” and what they recently posted, I started to understand how it could be a fun way to communicate.

Shortly after I finally understood what MySpace was was all about, it was replaced with a new trendy word… Facebook! So what happened to everyone’s MySpace? Well, apparently, this new social networking giant swallowed up MySpace in 2008 and is literally EVERYWHERE now. It’s not just a personal social gathering thing anymore. It seems like every business out there is jumping onto the Facebook bandwagon. You see the little icon somewhere and you immediately know it’s Facebook. The branding has been embedded into people’s brains. You see the branding in retail advertising all across the nation and the world.

So, with that said, why don’t I have a Facebook account? It’s simple… I still don’t quite understand the need for it. I mean, I know it’s a great place where you can post photos and chat and all, but other than that, at this time I find no use for it. Again, this is only because I don’t fully understand it. Businesses seem to think it’s an extremely important tool, though, so as a growing writer and aspiring entrepreneur, I’m sure I’ll jump on the bandwagon, too, someday. Just not right now. Twitter takes up enough of my time. 😉

OMG! Ashton Kutcher Had What For Breakfast?

Hello, my name is Rob, and I’m a #TwitterAddict. This wasn’t always true and I’m getting some great support from my #TwitterAddictsAnonymous group which meets every Tuesday night for about four hours… on Twitter. Seriously, though, I never thought I would ever sign up for a Twitter account. I’ve never had any interest in Facebook, so why in the world would I want to use Twitter? I mean, do I really care what Ashton Kutcher is eating for breakfast?

The answer is: “No, I don’t.” This was my initial impression of Twitter. This too was turning into a trending word around the office. I tweeted this… and I tweeted that. What the heck is a “tweet”? Then, I saw a commercial about Twitter. Oh, good! Some official information… um… didn’t help. A family is standing around outside with their smart phones and Dad is tweeting about sitting on a chair outside with his family. It was something to that degree, at least. Yeah, that sounds so exciting! Where can I sign up? Twitter was obviously poking fun at itself with that commercial, but I seriously thought that’s all there was too it. Type a short message about what you are doing, and there are people out there that do just that… and only that.

Learning The Twitter Code: DMs, RTs, #Hashtags and Spam Bots!

One day recently, I decided to go ahead and create a Twitter account, just so I could communicate with my friends on my cell phone without having to use text messaging (I don’t have unlimited texts). Yes, being cheap was the initial reason I signed up for Twitter! Well, NONE of my “real” friends wanted to use Twitter, because (big surprise) they had the same impression of Twitter that I did. Well, crap. Now what? I had this new Twitter account and had absolutely no idea what to do with it. I guess I could start following some celebrities to see what they had to say on Twitter.

I followed a few of my favorite celebrities, read what they were tweeting, and what others were tweeting to them. Hmmm… some of these celebrities were actually having actual conversations with some of the “little people” in the world. I also so all these #s RTs and DMs popping up in lots of tweets. Great, these people are speaking in code, so I have to learn a new language. Ugh! Google helped me decipher some of this Twitter code. Oh, RT means Retweet. Okay. So what the heck is a Retweet and what’s the purpose of it? And DM is Direct Message… oh, a private message. That makes sense. It took a few days to figure out the Twitter lingo before I decided to put some of it to use. I saw a lot of people asking celebrities to RT them, follow them, etc., and yes, I shamefully did the same at first. I thought that’s just what you do on Twitter. Try to get the celebrities to talk to you. Buzz! Wrong! Try again! Then I started seeing “people” follow me. I now realize they were what we in the Twitter community call “Spam Bots.” Netflix was actually the first bot to follow me, which I didn’t mind, since technically it’s not really a bot if it’s a legitimate business, right? I followed back.

Twitter: The Marketing Tool For Writers?

My fifth follower was a real live person, though. I clicked on the profile and noticed it was a Christian writer named B.K. Dell from Texas. I read a few of his tweets and realized that he was promoting his new book Don’t Ask on Twitter, and he was giving it away for free on Smashwords, which was an app that I had on my phone. That immediately sparked a little fire in my soul because I had self-published a book in 2004 and started getting a touch of the writing bug again. I thought promoting a book through Twitter was such a great idea. I followed him, downloaded his book, and sent Mr. Dell a message to let him know that I downloaded his book. He responded to me, thanked me for downloading the book, and asked me to let him know what I thought. I enjoyed reading the book and ended up purchasing the paperback version on Amazon.

Suddenly, with this “first contact” Twitter wasn’t such a useless thing after all. I started following other writers on Twitter and quickly realized that there are a TON of them out there doing just what B.K. Dell was doing. It was then that I thought about maybe revisiting my book Pursuit of a Dream. I knew it needed a lot of work, and I thought it would be cool to have it available to read on the Kindle. I just didn’t know how to go about doing that. I was still fairly shy about chatting with all of these writers I was finding on Twitter, but then I noticed some of these writers kept adding a #pubwrite hashtag to their tweets (yes, at this point I knew what a hashtag was). I read some of these tweets for days and finally got the nerve to jump into the #pubwrite “chat room.”

Little did I know that making the decision to step out of my comfort zone and participate in the conversations that went on in #pubwrite would actually start a whole new chapter in my life. More on that later…

A Kid’s First Story

Posted: May 12, 2011 in Writing

“Katie vs. The Ameoba”

My interest in writing goes way back to the mid 80s when I was a kid living in Austin, Texas. One of my older brother’s many talents was drawing comic books and writing short stories. My brother and I were always very close and I naturally wanted to copy what my big brother was doing.

I was probably 9 or 10 years old at the time when I came up with my first story, “Katie vs. The Ameoba” (Spelled exactly the way I spelled it when I was 10 years old 🙂 ). I loved action and monster movies when I was a kid (still do), so I created The Ameoba, a giant mutating monster that’s sole purpose in life was to terrorize cities throughout the United States. It had to be stopped at all costs! The answer was the U.S. military and their special weapon, a giant snake that was inspired by my brother’s 7 ½ foot pet boa constrictor. Her name was Rosie, but I couldn’t use her name in my story, of course. So, I named her Katie.

I spent many late summer nights sitting on the living room couch working on my comic book. I had my notebook paper ready, map colors scattered everywhere, Oreo cookies on a paper towel, a glass of milk on the coffee table, and The Flintstones playing on the 27-inch “big screen” Quasar television. That’s right, I was a kid on a mission and I had all the tools to complete it!

One page after another, I drew each scene on notebook paper, adding narration at the top of each page and numbered each dialog bubble that floated over the characters. As I completed each page, I used Elmer’s glue to bind the pages together. That was about as high-tech as the process got for a kid growing up in the 80s.

When I finally completed my comic book, I proudly presented it to my parents, friends, their parents, and just about anyone I came in contact with. When I received compliments, my heart pounded with excitement, and I just knew what I wanted to be when I grew up! I wanted to be a comic book artist and writer… then a movie star… then a baseball player… then a race car driver… then a… well, you get the point.

Before I began writing this blog post, I looked for the comic book I “self-published” so many years ago. I remember placing it in a folder or box and storing it in an old dresser drawer that has since been collecting dust for years. So, this evening after I got home from the writing job that currently comes with a paycheck (writing obituaries; hey, you gotta start somewhere, right?) I opened the drawer that I thought I would find my old comic book in. Nope. Hmm. It must be in the bottom drawer, then. I pulled the bottom drawer and out came the middle drawer with it. I fought with this piece of furniture for a good 20 minutes and lost. I wanted to scan a couple of images of the comic book to share with you, but I’m afraid “Katie vs. the Ameoba” is going to have to remain incarcerated in the belly of that old dresser drawer until I figure a way to bust it out. 😦

So, there you have it. A little bit of childhood writing history. As a minnow, Sharkbait wrote a comic book. As an adult, he… well, he writes obituaries for a living (for the dead, really) with a strong desire to write much more fiction in the near future.

Thanks for taking time to read my blog and I hope you’ll keep coming back for more. Please rate this post and leave a comment. I look forward to reading them.

Cheers!

The Daunting First Post

Posted: May 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

The Birth of a New Blog

This is the first time I’ve ever written a blog, and to tell the truth, I’m a bit uncertain about the whole process. So, now that I’ve selected a domain name for my site, a blog host, and a theme… now what?

Well, I guess I can write about the daunting process of starting a web page. I mean, I have absolutely no web experience whatsoever! When I was finally ready to replace my “UNDER CONSTRUCTION” message with an actual welcome message for my blog, I thought, “Okay, where do I go to type my text? Ah! There it is!” Then, I started typing and everything looked great! That is until I clicked on the PREVIEW button! Oh, no!!! What the heck did I do? My fonts were all different sizes, spacing was all jacked up, and at that point I realized it was time to learn a new language.

Now, I know basic (and I mean very basic) HTML, but that wasn’t going to help me here. So, what was I going to do? Google it of course!

I didn’t like the default font sizes, so I needed to learn how to change that. It turns out that the HTML code for setting font sizes wasn’t too difficult. So, now that I’ve figured out the font size, my next task was trying to figure out how to change the actual font. Until then… this font is going to have to do!

So, now that I’ve got all that out of the way, I hope to be able to fill this site with interesting and more organized blog posts in the near future.

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